like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Found your dick twin last night
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i believe in u and ur pee
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
