For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
