pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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