I seem to have left my pride at pride
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
