just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The struggles of a small town man whore
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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