i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
