Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
