Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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