shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
