It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
