Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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