Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
