Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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