bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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