Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
