My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
