I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
