YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
