I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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