Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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