I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
