the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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