I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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