Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
