Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize