Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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