So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
