Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
