He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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