Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
