how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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