Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
