Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
