Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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