At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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