i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
