Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
