I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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