Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My dick has a subreddit
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
