It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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