I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
