You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
