We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
