I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
