Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
