the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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