Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
