waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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