You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
