I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The uberlube is also flammable
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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