Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize