There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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