dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
high people should be assigned attendants
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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