Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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