yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
