Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
