My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
