Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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