Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
