a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
