He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
