Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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