When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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