And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
