i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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