The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
