Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
