Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
