I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
