When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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