trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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