Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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