did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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