I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
