omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I touched a dick in church today
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize